


Dave: Seek your Troll bro for emotional support but, like, platonically because its not like you like him or anything

by KanamiAde



Series: Earth C is supposed to be a Happy Ending [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Earth C (Homestuck), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Homestuck Big Bang 2019, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Probably Epilogue Compliant, Short One Shot, but also flushed, its not like they're gay for each other or anything b-baka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19435048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanamiAde/pseuds/KanamiAde
Summary: Two-definitely-not-boyfriends talk about their inability to adjust to life in Earth C in a way that's definitely not romantic or anything of that sort.





	Dave: Seek your Troll bro for emotional support but, like, platonically because its not like you like him or anything

On a certain night on Troll Kingdom, two totally-strictly-platonic bros sit together on a couch taking part in a nightly activity dubbed as “bedtime-stories-with-Karkat” by Yours Truly. Which, by the way, was the best thing that was ever fucking invented. It’s the underlying constant in the whole paradox space, the one thing keeping the universe from falling apart.

Though as much as Dave would love to listen to Karkat’s definitely-not-attractive-voice and give occasional valid pointers in regards to the story, something else was on the Knight of Time’s mind tonight.

DAVE: yo karkat  
KARKAT: IF YOU’RE GOING TO SUGGEST “CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM” THAT THERE’S NOT ENOUGH PHALLIC IMAGERY IN THE NOVEL AGAIN, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, SO HELP ME DAVE.  
KARKAT: AND YES, I’M AWARE THE BOTH OF US ARE TECHNICALLY GODS, WHICH RENDERS MY EARLIER DECLARATION REDUNDANT.   
DAVE: wasn’t going to say any of that  
DAVE: though on the subject of constructive criticism though i think its safe to say there are far too many vacillations in this novel  
DAVE: like what the fuck is this some sort of vacillation propoganda  
KARKAT: OKAY YEAH THAT’S FAIR.   
KARKAT: URGH. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS USED TO BE MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE. WHAT WAS MY THINKPAN MADE OF, SOME SORT OF DEAD SPONGE?  
DAVE: lmao  
KARKAT: LMAO YOURSELF.  
KARKAT:...AT LEAST THE INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS ARE STILL SOMEWHAT DECENT, ALBEIT INCREDIBLY CLICHE.   
KARKAT: ANYWAY, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?  
DAVE: okay so

Suddenly feeling a little more subconscious than usual, he shifted himself such that he wasn't that near Karkat as much as before. You know, two bros chilling a foot apart because they weren't gay. Definitely not. Karkat seemed to pay no attention to the shift in position. Though if you asked anyone other than the two of them, Karkat definitely noticed. Just like how he noticed how their hands always immediately pull back from one another whenever their hands ever-so-slightly brushed against each other while they watch whatever was on TV, or how he noticed how Dave covered up anything that was remotely quadrant-suggestive with his ironic rambling.

Dave drummed his fingers on the surface of the sofa at an irregular rhythm to try to collect his thoughts.

DAVE: ive been doing a lot of thinking lately  
DAVE: and i dont mean ive done some self-reflection and suddenly ive earned some sort of mind blowing revelation  
DAVE: just that when i stay awake at night for way too long   
DAVE: which has been happening a lot more than usual for some reason btw  
DAVE: like some sort of inevitable connected time loop    
DAVE: i end up asking myself  
DAVE: what exactly did I do to earn a life that’s this fucking great  
DAVE: i mean sure its not perfect like there’s a ton of issues on Earth C that need to be fucking solved sooner or later  
DAVE: but its  
DAVE: i don’t know  
DAVE: too peaceful?  
DAVE: and without a catch  
DAVE: no upcoming battles you need to prep yourself for  
DAVE: no big boss or whatever  
DAVE: no more stupid time powers  
DAVE: but nah my brain goes all panicky and restless about it for some fucking reason  
DAVE: like jegus fucking christ its been more than a year get over it  
DAVE: when someone hands out free aj like its fucking aj-themed Christmas you take the fucking aj not go all “nah bro this aint fair i dont think i should”  
DAVE: no one's going to hunt you down with a katana just because you took free aj  
DAVE: hell the dudes even encouraging you to take the aj with a flashy signboard and everything theyre practically asking you to accept it  
DAVE: so yeah as you can see my brain has been produce some special brand of bullshit lately which is awesome and just what i needed thanks bro  
DAVE: no probs bro just your daily dose of internal doubt  
DAVE: or night i guess  
DAVE: and i was just wondering if you  
DAVE: you know  
DAVE: have any insight on this or if im just going crazy or something  
DAVE:   
DAVE: uh karkat are you thinking really deeply or are you pulling a rose on me  
DAVE: god youve been spending too much time with her havent you  
KARKAT: NO I WAS THINKING. IT’S BEEN LITERALLY LESS THAN A SECOND GOOD GOD.  
DAVE: oh cool 

The troll put down his book and stared at Dave with a serious expression that either meant he was going to share something personal, or he was going to lay down some hot spicy analysis of a story.

KARKAT: NO YOU’RE NOT GOING CRAZY  
KARKAT: AND I ACTUALLY FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY?  
KARKAT: FOR A WHILE NOW ACTUALLY.   
DAVE: oh huh  
DAVE: so like  
DAVE: any words of wisdom on how to keep it on the low tide  
KARKAT: TOUGH LUCK. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE.  
KARKAT: WE’RE BASICALLY FUCKED WITH THIS BULLSHIT MESSING WITH OUR HEADS TILL GOD KNOWS HOW LONG, UNLESS YOU GOT ANY GOOD IDEAS.  
DAVE: nope i got nothing  
DAVE: guess we’ll suffer for life then  
KARKAT: GUESS WE WILL.  
KARKAT: ...IT DOES GET SLIGHTLY BETTER WITH TIME, THOUGH.   
KARKAT: AND THIS WHOLE “BEDTIME STORIES WITH KARKAT” THING HELPS TOO, FOR SOME REASON.  
KARKAT: YEAH, YEAH, YOU WERE RIGHT, “BEDTIME STORIES WITH KARKAT” IS ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT, NOW WIPE THAT STUPID SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE BEFORE I DO IT MYSELF.   
KARKAT:   
KARKAT: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE I DIDN’T MEAN IT _THAT_ WAY!   
DAVE: hmmmm i dont know man seems like youre trying to imply something here  
DAVE: all you have to do is just ask  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD. 

Karkat glared in his charming-Vantas way as Dave wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him. Then, as the two of them became increasingly aware of how couple-like they were acting, both of them sat in a few seconds of awkward silence, trying not to look straight into each other’s eyes. Karkat cleared his throat.

KARKAT: SO YEAH.  
KARKAT: SORRY IF YOU WERE EXPECTING ME TO CONJURE UP A SOLUTION. I’M KIND OF USELESS AT HELPING YOUR SITUATION CONSIDERING I CAN’T EVEN HELP MYSELF.   
DAVE:nah bro  
DAVE: this bedtime story session may have been my idea but youre the one doing the magic  
DAVE: tbh one of the reasons why i suggested it in the first place  
DAVE: with the other being that your reading voice is hella awesome   
DAVE: and cool to listen to   
DAVE: and really puts a guy at ease  
DAVE: uh got a bit out of point there anyway as i was saying  
DAVE: i kind of needed a distraction from it cos all that thinking is nasty as fuck  
DAVE: and what better way to distract myself than to chill with my bro  
DAVE: so yeah you help  
DAVE: thanks btw  
KARKAT: OH.   
KARKAT: YOU’RE WELCOME I GUESS.   
DAVE: yeah

The two of them stared at each other awkwardly, before Dave looked down a little, biting his lip ever so slightly as if in deep contemplation.

KARKAT: DAVE?

Oh fuck this.

DAVE: sorry  
KARKAT: O...OH.  
KARKAT: IT’S FINE, YOU DON’T HAVE TO APOLOGISE.  
KARKAT: ANYTHING FOR A FRIEND.  
DAVE: y  
DAVE: yeah

And thus, two totally strictly-platonic bros hugged the shit out of each other, finding comfort in each other’s tender embrace. That’s all that needed to be said on the fucking matter.

**Author's Note:**

> The Lovely Art is done by Shyeinks! Their twitter post: https://twitter.com/shyeinks/status/1134916587977433088?s=09


End file.
